My Christmas trip home

Way back in the summer of 1976 I quit my job of three years as a reporter at The Augusta (Ga) Chronicle. As an irresponsible youth with little to do, I decided to make a motorcycle trip up to Pittsburgh, where my brother Henry was doing a post-doc at Carnegie-Mellon University. After I reached his apartment (that trip is a story for another day), we heard from my old roommate and friend, and Henry’s friend as well, Tom. He had landed at Lake Tahoe after being out of touch for more than a year.

Again, with nothing much to do, I decided to ride out to see him. After all, it was only about 2400 miles, which I didn’t really know at the time. I knew only that to reach Lake Tahoe, I needed to go west. And so I did, and that, too, is a story for another day.

Lake Tahoe was very pretty, so pretty, in fact, that I decided to stay. I flew back home, collected some belongings, and drove my little Fiat coupe from my parents’ home in Rome, Ga, to Lake Tahoe, a trip of about a mile less than from Pittsburgh.

Tom and I shared a little cabin for a while, then moved into a larger house, at which point we got a third roommate.

Life was good at Lake Tahoe. I had nothing much to do, so I did that. I had very little contact with my family back east — a few letters, maybe a phone call every once in a while. In the fall of the next year, my parents took a long trip with their little Jeep Wagoneer towing their Airstream trailer. They meandered around the country, finally ending up in San Francisco, where I drove my motorcycle down to meet them at a little trailer park south of the city. How did we find our way to out-of-the-way places before GPS? That art is lost, I believe.

We stayed a few days seeing the sights, then they and I drove up to Tahoe. They parked their trailer next to our rented house, and we saw the sights there. After some time they left, heading south to Yosemite. I followed a day or so later on my motorcycle., of course. We camped way up in the mountains above Yosemite Valley in a campground that was closed for the winter. After seeing those sights, my parents left to begin a long, meandering trip home, and I returned to Lake Tahoe.

As Christmas approached, I started thinking about going home, just for the holidays. I eventually decided to do just that, so I set off, on my motorcycle, of course, leaving my little Fiat coupe parked beside the house.

As you are no doubt aware, Christmas in the northern hemisphere comes around the Winter Solstice, which is historically quite cool at 6000 feet above sea level at the latitude of Lake Tahoe. In fact, it’s quite cool nearly everywhere from Lake Tahoe east to Georgia. Taking that into account, I took the southern route rather than setting off due east. That made the trip a little longer.

I was poorly prepared to ride in winter weather for 2500 miles or so. I had a sweater, a leather jacket, jeans, long underwear, and a rain suit, which I wore to block the wind. I took US 95 south towards Las Vegas.

Back I those days, the highway south from Vegas went right across Hoover Dam. I crossed the dam at night. The road snakes down towards the Colorado River, crosses the dam, then climbs back up. At the top there was a viewpoint that overlooked the dam. At night it looked like a set from a science fiction movie, with the black lake surrounding the four intake towers lit with reddish light.

I left the overlook and drove a few miles to a place where I could pull off the road and spread out my sleeping bag. I didn’t have, or at least didn’t use, a tent. I just slipped into the bag and stared up at the sky. That far from civilization, the sky was completely black and the stars were brilliant points of light. If you look up long enough in those conditions, you will almost certainly see a shooting star, even at times other than the well-known meteor showers.

I continued on, almost certainly going down south of Interstate 40 through Phoenix to reach I-10, the southernmost east-west route. I remember very little of that trip. I don’t even remember whether I stayed at any motels on the five-day trip. All I can say is that five 500-mile days wears on a man, even a man of only 27 years. So, when I reached Alabama in the evening of the fifth day, I was in a state of semi-exhaustion.

And, of course, it was raining. I approached Rome on what we call the Alabama Road, a road I would drive hundreds of times after I got my PdD from Georgia Tech and started working in Huntsville, but which I did not know at that time. I found myself behind a big truck and a line of cars. As the highway approaches the state line it has gentle rises and dips and fairly broad curves. There are few places to pass, and at night with rain falling, it’s hard to see when you’re at one of those safe places.

I eventually got a glimpse of the road ahead that seemed long and straight enough, and empty of cars. So I pulled out and accelerated to pass the truck. I was pulling up even with the truck when the headlights of an oncoming car appeared in the lane ahead of me. So I downshifted and rolled the throttle wide open.

Now, there are two things about my motorcycle. It was a 1974 BMW R60/6, a 600-cc motorcycle with low horsepower even for that size engine and those days of engine development. So, normally, downshifting and opening the throttle begins a fairly relaxed acceleration, but an acceleration which was completely adequate to pass the truck safely. 

The second thing about my motorcycle was that every time either of the bike’s tires had broken traction and slipped, I had fallen down. Every time. When I downshifted and opened the throttle, even with that mild, little engine, the road was slippery enough that my back tire skidded and the rear of the bike started swinging out to the side.

My favorite type of book in those days was science fiction. In one or more of the lurid books I had read, an author used the expression “the metallic taste of fear.” When I had read those words, they had no real meaning for me. I understood each word, but the collection of the words themselves carried no meaning. Until that night.

On that night, at that time, on a slippery, black highway, with raindrops smeared on my helmet visor and spray from the big truck I was beside billowing out over me, I experienced the metallic taste of fear. Even in the few tenths of a second that I believed I had left before I crashed down beside a big truck, and right in front of an oncoming car, I had time to think, “Ah, so that’s what they meant by ‘the metallic taste of fear’.”

I did not die on that night. I did not fall down. I reflexively grabbed the clutch lever, which allowed the rear tire to grab enough traction that the bike straightened out and I retained control. I slowly engaged the clutch, watching the oncoming car but unable to do anything any faster, and gently opened the throttle. I accelerated slowly the rest of the way around truck, and no one even suspected the drama that had just played out on that road. Of course, the drama was all in my mind, but, still.

I never told anyone about my brush with death, or possibly serious injury. I am also thankful to be able to say that that night was the only time I have experienced the metallic taste of fear.

I continued on to my parents’ house and pulled into the driveway. I parked the bike and went to the front door, still in my gear. I don’t remember whether the door was unlocked or I had a key, but I went inside. I don’t remember the details, 42 years later. But the house was light and warm. There was a family Christmas gathering. My parents were there, of course, and Henry as well. There were other relatives, too. And there was food.

I remember that my family greeted me as if they had not expected to see me, and all these years later I have no idea whether I had even called them to let them know I was coming home. Years later, when my brother was dying from cancer, when his wife’s son did a video interview with him, he remembered that night. He said it was like the return of the prodigal son.

That surprised me. I have remembered that trip and that homecoming, but I had no idea of the impact on the rest of my family of my Christmas trip home.

The Paris Gang

Ever since my Uncle Tommy died not long ago, Leah and I have been meeting Aunt Micki for lunch almost every Wednesday. A couple of cousins also come to our lunches. We have not had this much interaction with my relatives in a long time, and both of us enjoy it.

On Friday, we met Micki at a chicken place. She brought along one of her long-time tennis partners. It turns out her long-time tennis partner is my cousin. Her grandfather was my father’s grandfather, and her mother was my father’s aunt. She brought along family photos of her grandfather and his eight sons, and her grandfather and grandmother with their four daughters. One of the sons was Grady V. Paris Sr, my father’s father.

The bearded fellow in the front row is her grandfather, and all the rest are her uncles. Leah and I think my grandfather, Grady Sr, was the second from the right in the rear. Here is a photo that I think is my grandfather with his dog.

Here is the photo of my great-grandfather with his wife and their four daughters.

The poor, little lady sitting next to my great-grandfather was the mother of those eight boys and four girls. It’s no wonder she looks played out. The sister with her hand on her mother’s shoulder was my newly-found cousin’s mother.

I have met only one of the people in the picture of the men, and I do not know which one it was. He was called Ab. Apparently he was a riverboat gambler at one time. Today there is no way to verify that story, since anyone who could know of it is long dead.

The men are not named on the photograph. My cousin said hers is a just a copy that she got from her brother (now in his 90’s). She hopes her brother’s possibly original photo has names on the back. If so, we can identify my grandfather and Great Uncle Ab for sure.

It seems that the Paris family is pretty big. It also seems that I am descended from a dog lover. No surprise there.

Roseanne was right

The dishwasher at our old house was very loud. We couldn’t hear the television when it was running, and since our bedroom was close to the kitchen, we wouldn’t let it run after we went to bed. So it was kind of a hassle.

At our new house, we looked for a quiet dishwasher. We found one that wasn’t quite as quiet as the quietest, but which was quite quiet. It was nice. We can barely hear it operating and can easily watch television with it on, even as close as we are to the kitchen when we watch television. But it also has a delay feature, so I can set it to turn on at 2 or 3 in the morning. Our bedroom is now at the opposite end of the house, which is not all that distant from the kitchen, but we never hear a thing when the dishwasher rus. Nothing at all. It’s great.

So, on Tuesday night I set the washer to come on at 3 am. We had filled it with all of my juice glasses, a whole lot of cups, lots of saucers, and almost every single utensil we have. On Wednesday morning I came into the kitchen and opened the washer. The first item I took out was dirty. Great, I thought, what did I do, obstruct the washer’s water spray? Then I looked at some plates. They were dirty. Unwashed. And then I realized that none of the control lights that should have been on were actually on.

Great. The washer is not working. It looked like there was no power, so I thought maybe the electrical plug had come out. I unscrewed the washer frame and pulled it from under the counter. Nope. It was wired directly with no plug. I went downstairs and with Leah’s help identified the circuit breaker that controls the washer. It was fine. I turned the power off, hoping maybe it would wake the washer up when I turned it back on, but no luck.

With a little online investigation I found some instructions for checking the controls. I activated a sequence of buttons, and all the lights came on, and then what looked like an error code appeared on a screen. A little more investigation convinced me that our problem is almost certainly a failed circuit board. I ordered one online and we’re waiting for it. It looks like a fairly easy replacement.

In the meantime, we’re washing dishes by hand. The load I unloaded after it didn’t get washed did, indeed, include virtually every utensil we own, plus some that a stray hobo must have put in the washer while we weren’t looking. I’ve never seen so many utensils. We must be rich or something. I remember washing large quantities of dishes by hand, but it’s been a long, long time.

This makes me wonder, just a little, only a little. We had our noisy washer until we moved, so from 2005 until 2017. Twelve years without a problem. It was noisy but it lasted. Now we have a very quiet washer, and it lasted two years.

Oh well. It’s like Roseanne Roseannadanna said, “That just goes to show you, it’s always something.”

Those of us who are of a certain age are probably aware of Gilda Radner’s Roseanne Roseannadanna character on Saturday Night Live. She had a number of relatives, including her Nana Roseannadanna, her aunt Pollyanna Roseannadanna, her “musically happening cousin” Carlos Santana Roseannadanna, her religious aunt Hosanna Roseannadanna, and her singing cousin Lola Falana Roseannadanna.

Leah and I miss Roseanne, as well as Emily Litella. We wonder what Gilda would be doing now if she had lived.

102

One hundred and two years ago today, August 2, 2019, my father was born in Cave Spring, Ga. He died early in March 2000. It’s hard for me to believe that he was born 102 years ago, and that he has been gone for 19 years. I’m sure it would make him sad to know that most of his family is gone now, from his parents to his brother and sisters, to his wife and his older son. But that’s the way it goes. We are here for a while, and then we’re gone. Some of the people who were close to us remember, but eventually everyone who knew us will be gone as well, and then we won’t exist even in memories.

At least for now, there are a few people who remember him, even aside from me. He has two  grandsons, who will probably think more about him as they get older. He has nephews and nieces who remember him. And I remember him.

This was my father’s high school picture. In those days high school went only through the 11th grade.

This was him ten years or so later. This was early in his Army times, before he was assigned to the infantry. He still wore his crossed cannons of the artillery.

And this was him about sixty years after he was born, when he and my mother visited me at Lake Tahoe.

My little yellow Fiat is behind us. That’s Ivy, my dalmation. They stopped for a while at Tahoe and then went down to Yosemite. I followed on my motorcycle. We camped in their Airstream trailer up above the Yosemite Valley in a campground that had been officially closed for the winter but was still open for people to camp without any amenities. And this was my father and me when we went up to an overlook.

I miss those days.

Leaving 68

Today, May 18, is my 69th birthday. As of now, I start my 70th year here on Earth. It’s strange to get that old; I’m older than more than 88 percent of the people in the country. I don’t feel particularly old in my head, but my body begs to differ. I imagine most people who see me would think that I am at least 69 years old. Maybe even older.

When I think about my past, it seems like it happened to a different person in a different world, like a book I read once. There is almost nothing physical left from my past. Not the house where I grew up. Not my grandparents’ house where we had big family gatherings. Not one of my own family, and none of my father’s family.

Someone has cut down the trees, flattened the hills, and channelized the creeks.

I don’t have much time left to achieve any dreams left unrealized. Many of them are beyond my reach.

I might as well have imagined it all.

I find myself in a new world, and not a brave one. It’s at times like these that I have less regret for not having had children. I would feel guilty to leave this world to them. I worry enough about my nephews. What will things be like for them when they reach my age? Better? I would like to believe it, but I’m finding that harder and harder.

I have enough to do here and now to occupy my mind, but sometimes I envy the dogs; they don’t have worry about finding something to occupy their minds. A peanut-butter-filled rubber bong takes care of that.

Once upon a time, long, long ago, I was a runner, and so was my brother. Henry was faster than me for most, if not all of his life. In age at least, I’m catching up to him. He died at 70 in April of last year. If I make it through one year and eight months, I’ll pass him.