Today, January 12, 2017, would have been my mother’s 94th birthday. She died almost four years ago shortly after her 90th birthday and pretty close to 13 years after my father died. I posted a picture in 2013 of her, Leah, my brother and some of his family at a Japanese restaurant we took her to for her birthday celebration.
Over the years since my parents died they have become younger. Not young, but at a younger old age, after they retired and before they became too infirm to travel. The saddest part of their old age was their declining health. Sometimes when I think of them and wish they were still here, I realize that long before today neither one of them would be healthy and strong enough to even want to be here. It’s like they were given a few extra years and then robbed of the value of those years.
So the best thing for them and for me is to hold them in my memory. That way they are safe from any further insults the world might want to throw their way, at least for as long as I am alive and can think clearly. Once my brother and I are gone, they will be pretty much gone, too. I doubt that either of their grandchildren (my nephews) think much about them or, for that matter, even remember that much about them. So much the worse for them.
I read these sad words and think of my mother who is definitely in her declining years. She turned 91 in September and has not been in good health. As I watch her I start to wonder if I would ever want to live into such an old age. I am not sure. I hope your nephews are reminded often of their grandparents, especially the traits and memories that help shape them become who they are. There is always an imprint of some sort or another… genetic, behavioral… something.
Sad. My great-niece very definitely remembers my parents, especially my father, who died 11 years after my mother did. She mentions him often, and misses him deeply. But her younger brothers don’t really remember my mother, but they do my father – not as much, of course.
Robin — As I mentioned, when I think of my parents now, I don’t think of them as they were right before their deaths but when they were active and their real selves.
Karen — My nephews are in their 30’s, so they have a lot of things going on in their own lives right now. I hope as they get older they can start thinking more about their grandparents. I’m sure they must remember how much my mother and father loved them.
I will always remember them.